Play Portal Dammit!


Play Portal Dammit! is a phrase heard quite often in the Inner Circle. Almost everyone has played it, even Kevin. Almost everyone agrees that it is a masterpiece of gaming. Almost everyone knows about the Cake. Almost everyone, except Stevie...

You see, Stevie is Stevie. He is very particular. (See: Raynor and H Jon) When he finds something he likes, he tends to stick with it...forever. The same goes for something he dislikes. He sticks with his disapproval despite all outside feedback. He has a spine of steel. Which is fine. But sometimes he goes too far. Sometimes he blurs the line between disliking something, and being indifferent to it. Sometimes that blurry line crosses into the wrong territory. Sometimes he spits in the eyes of gods.

Stevie has refused to play Portal since its release. He has been offered a free copy of the game, free tutoring and instruction, free time to play it (Read: temporary unemployment), and he was even offered to have someone else play it for him while he watched, for free. All of this for free, yet he refused. For four years.

Stevie played Portal in early 2011. Well, to be specific, he played Portal 2. And just the Coop. It was a shocking announcement: "Hey guys, I'm uh...going to play Portal 2 with Tracy." We were so proud. But we were still disappointed. Like a parent who can't get their kid to college, even though they sacrificed and saved for years to give them the opportunity, then they end up going to culinary school 12 years later after their girlfriend Sheila leaves with her meth dealer. School! Great! Not what we were hoping, but still good! The same goes for Stevie and Portal 2. That's great! Go Stevie! But...

Play Portal Dammit!