(Redirected from Mallard Bush)
The Duck Tree was nature's best example of refined taste and subtlety only found in the finest of abstract art (
Duck Tree


Duck Tree 2


See Mesa Art Class). Go nature! Good job! It looked exactly like a duck/mallard/swan/some other feathered long-knecked dinosaur ancestor.

From either side one could make out the features of a beak, eyes, ears and audible quaking sound of a duck. The discovery was pure serendipity and the tree was quickly recognized as a precious artifact in the arboreal community.

Yes, it was great. What's with all this past-tense nonsense? If it's so great, why is it in the past, you ask? Thank you for your question, and next time please raise your hand. The answer is Man. (Ah hell, let's be inclusive here: the answer is also woman. They had a part in this too, I'm sure. Equal rights and all... ) One day in early 2011, the Inner Circle discovered the gruseome scene. The Duck Tree had been decapitated. Perhaps a drunk disc golfer or Stupid Baby fell upon the Duck Tree's beak and their impaled corpse had to be extricated with the Jaws of Life (most likely in this case it was the Saws of Life). Whatever the cause, the end result was the sudden disappearnce of the mystical branch. Safety hazard aside, it was a landmark that brought visitors from as far as Madison Wisconsin and Communist China. Now, all that remains is a stump.

Luckily there is photographic evidence of the pinnacle of nature's power. Feel free to make it your desktop wallpaper or photoshop your family into the picture for Christmas. Spread the word. The Duck Tree did not die in vain!