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A great way to greet clients and close a deal!


The "Brian Wave" is a useful tool that can help the user accomplish many things, from making new friends to defusing sticky situations. A proper Brian Wave involves squinting ones eyes and making the biggest shit-eating grin humanly possible while raising the right hand and waving it furiously as though a bee (aaahhh! bee!) has just landed on it. The visual is disarming to the recipient. It is the perfect way to prevent confrontation from escalating, such as a road rage incident. No one can stay angry when they see a Brian Wave.

The Brian Wave is not exclusively used by Brian, and the he was certainly not the first to do it. It is called a Brian Wave because he can do it the best. It can be used by anyone: young or old, black or Chinese, handicapped or handiproficient, the list goes on (but it definitely stops at cyborgs. Robots hands are cold and untrustworthy. The Brian Wave is a warm and friendly action that no cyborg can replicate.)

The Brian Wave is most often used as a greeting in the Inner Circle. It is also used to break an uncomfortable silence in common situations, such as funerals, blind dates, getting fired, knocking over an entire row of Harleys at Sturgis, waking up during major surgery, and most often at oneself in front of the mirror every morning because you're just swell!

For a visual reference, check out the video on this page, if you have not already done so. Words are so boring, and Youtube is great! Did you watch it? So many fucking F words, I know. And there's also the dreaded R word attached to it. Not "Robot R" or "Clone R" [Insert link to new awesome Robot/Clone R page] mind you, but the new banned R word. It is a tasteless word, sure, but who are you going to blame for finding that video? I blame Google [Insert link to Google <3 page]. My hands are clean. And they are currently Brian Waving at you.

thumb|300px|right|An example of a Brian Wave defusing a sticky situation

An improper Brian Wave. The eye squint and grin are spot on, but it is supposed to be a wave, not a salute.